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#40: How I Stopped a Bully From Picking on my Son and Didn’t go to Jail

The nerve or (censored expletive) of some of the kids I see these days never ceases to amaze me.  Kids talk back to adults or will blatantly do things they know they shouldn’t do as if to test the people around them. You can chalk this up to many things.  I believe there is a lack of structure and accountability that parents provide to their children.

It’s not about being overprotective parents but rather the lack of awareness of parents.  Stop the madness with the phrase, “they are just being kids”.  Yes, I know they are being kids when they do something wrong or stupid.  That is when it is our time to correct our children and tell them what they are doing is wrong.  It is our job to raise our children to be the type of adults we want them to be.

Let’s Talk About Bullying

What is considered bullying? Well I checked out StopBullying.gov to see what they had to say about bullying.  I wanted to know if their definition matched up with mine.

Definition according to StopBullying.gov

Bullying is unwanted, aggressive behavior among school aged children that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time. Bullying includes actions such as making threats, spreading rumors, attacking someone physically or verbally, and excluding someone from a group on purpose.

And there is considered three types of bullying according to StopBullying.gov

Verbal Bullying- This is saying or writing mean things.

Social Bullying –  Hurting someone’s relationships or reputation

Physical Bullying – This involves hurting someone physically body or possessions.

What I Consider to be Bullying

To sum it up, I consider bullying to be anytime someone goes out of their way to be mean to another person on purpose which makes them feel bad.  Or bullying can be hurting another person or person’s things on purpose.

StopBully.gov goes into many specifics of what is considered bullying in case someone just doesn’t understand what it is.

News About Parents and Bullying

I didn’t expect to have to deal with a bully or someone picking on my children until at least the 6th grade.  For some reason that is the time (in my mind) when clicks start to form in schools.  But bullying can happen anytime and anywhere.

Parents don’t always keep their cool when they find out someone is bullying their child.  Some parents have taken justice in their own hands and disciplined the child that is bullying their child.  Call it discipline or attacking the bully, either way they took things into their own hands.

Take Felicia Phillips for example. Felicia had enough of a bully picking on her son and having others start a fight with her son, so she decided to walk her son to the bus to make sure he was safe.  Felicia overheard the bully talking about her son.  She got on the bus and starting fighting with the teen bully.  Her son and other students pulled her off the teen boy.

Felicia was arrested and charged with child abuse and trespassing on school property.  Watch the incident in the video below.

Then there is Toccara Daniels from Florida that came on a school bus and slapped a child that had hit her son.   It wasn’t a love tap.  My eyes would have welled up if she had slapped me as hard as she did this kid.

My Interactions With Bullies

There was no shortage of bullies in any of the schools or neighborhoods I lived in.  I had been the victim of bullying more than once in the early years of my life.  I eventually got stronger, took wrestling and karate and learned how to defend myself.    Once that happened bullies didn’t go out of their way to mess with me.  In fact I found myself defending and protecting those who could protect themselves.  Over time my reputation reached a point where bully’s never bothered me.

How I Stopped a Bully From Picking on my Son and Didn’t go to Jail

Before I even get started I want you to know that no one hit my kids.  I would be writing this blog from jail if that had been the case.

No this bullying incident was random and unexpected.  My son, daughter, wife  and I were waiting in line for a ride at the Silverwood Amusement Park. It was a bumper boat ride and as we got closer to getting on the ride (my son was going to ride with me) an operator of the ride indicated my son needed a life jacket.  My son was given a life jacket and we continued to wait in line.  A boy behind us who was probably about 12 years old began to tease my 5 year old son.  “Ha, ha, you have to wear a life jacket” he said.  Then he said something else (which I can’t remember).  I then turned around and said, “Yes he does have to wear a life jacket, but you don’t need to say it like that to my son”.  Thinking the issue with the 12 year old was over I turned to my wife and we started talking about something else.

I then hear my daughter saying, ”Leave my brother alone.”  I turned to my daughter and asked her what the problem was.

She explained that the same boy had been teasing my son.

All I could think was either the kid was clearly stupid or wasn’t raised right.  I could seriously feel my blood pressure rising.

As I look at the kid he gives me a rye smile as if he is just a punk kid.

I gave him the stink eye and said, “I don’t want you talking to my kids.  You keep your mouth shut and leave my kids alone.”

He nervously told me his name.

“I don’t care what your name is, you better not say another word to my kids.” I said.

His sister who was either a year older or younger whispered through her teeth to her brother, “Say you are sorry.” But he didn’t.

I brought my son and daughter closer to me and jokingly said to my wife, “If that kid says another word, you are going to have to bail me out of jail.”

Don’t Even

Don’t even give me the “that is kids being kids.”  Kids need to be corrected.  It doesn’t mean they need to be slapped on a bus but they need to understand when and what they are doing wrong.  The time and place for being corrected in the moment.

We parents need to be good examples to our children so they can see first-hand how to deal with situations.  I will admit this is something I am consciously working on as a father.  At the moment I am trying not to teach my children that it is not ok to call people stupid when they drive stupid.  Though it is something I struggle with as there as so many stupid drivers on the road.

So that is my rant and that is my story.  Just trying to bring some light on this issue.

Andrew

 

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